Being a parent is the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do.  Thank goodness it brings more joy and blessings into our lives that we could ever imagine.  We’ve been blessed with 3 wonderful children, but each is an extreme.  How is that possible?!  We’ve just gone with the theory that it was all in God’s plan and only He has the power to pull off having 3 extremes in one family.  There’s just no other explanation!  And on top of that, there is a 10 year age difference between the oldest and the youngest.  We’ve basically just been spinning plates up on sticks for more than 30 years.  One of our lovelies routinely said to me…”Mom, Breathe In….Breathe Out”.  I never got tired of hearing this.  I just always thought of it as a wake up call; when one of my children feels the need to say this to me, I truly need to chill out.  Relax and breathe!

And the 30 year span of craziness is not an exaggeration.  Think about it.  When our oldest went off to college at the age of 18, our youngest was 8.  Here’s another lovely statistic; we’ve have  kids in college since 2005.  Yep, this is 2019.  You can do the math if you want any other stats.  Just don’t share them with me.  It can be depressing all the while being an amazing blessing.  I’m breathing in….I’m breathing out.

Somehow our family situation has given many of our friends the illusion that we have it all together.  Moms often ask me, “how do you do it?  You’ve got it all together. Please help me with…, etc…”  You get the idea.  This always floors me because we definately don’t have it all together, we didn’t do it and we certainly don’t have all the answers!  Maybe I’m just approachable.  The more I speak to other parents struggling, I’m discovering that the message that all of us really need to hear is that WE ARE ALL STRUGGLING!  We know very wonderful, loving, strong parents who have dealt with some really tough stuff.  None of us have all the answers.

I haven’t posted in while….life….some things very sad and some incredibly joyful.  So I feel compelled to go out on a limb a bit here and share with you some of these struggles and joys.  We’ve recently had a dear family from our church reach out to us for support because they are struggling with their teens making poor choices.  And then dear lifelong friends call to share the devastating news that their beloved son has died.  These are not families that readily share their struggles with others, but for whatever reason we have been placed in their lives to somehow provide any bit of comfort and peace that we have.  We are thankful that we have been placed here to support any way we are able.  So we dig deep and offer comfort and words of love that we think will give them hope, peace and a bit of laughter.

We have the family struggling with their teens over for dinner and let them lead the conversation.  We are here, we are listening, we share our own struggles and let them know that they are not alone.  They head home with smiles, gratitude and some hope.

We drop everything and fly across the country to go to the heartbreaking service of our dear friends’ precious son…sadly friends that we have not seen in over 30 years.  We hug, cry and I tell his mom, “You are a great mom.”  And what do they do 2 months later?  They fly right back across the country to see us!  We spend our visit laughing, crying and more laughing.  My dear hubby says, “I haven’t laughed this hard in a very long time.”  We all needed this.  Before they head home, we are already planning a trip together.  All four of us feel so incredibly blessed that we still have each other, even after all these years.  Yep, we all definitely needed this.

One of my favorite authors is Trevor Hudson.  I was blessed with the opportunity to hear him speak at a time in our own lives when we were really struggling as parents.  Learning to let our adult children make their own choices, watching them struggle to find their way in life has been incredibly difficult for me and can be very stressful on a marriage.  During one of Trevor Hudson’s sermons, he shared a poem he had written.

I believe that you were created to live freely.  I place your life into the loving hands of your Creator.  I let go of my clinging hold on your life.  I am willing for you to make your own choices.  I no longer want to play god in your life.  I will not believe that I always know what is best for your life.  I want you to live your life according to your best understanding and light.  I respect the image of God in you.  I want to learn to love you with open hands.  I love you, and I bless you.  I have confidence in you and always will.  ~Trevor Hudson

I can tell you, this poem rocked my world and brought me to more than tears….sobbing quite honestly.  As a parent, how do I NOT know what is best?!  Well, we don’t always know what is best, especially when our children become adults.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all just need to be available and present for each other.  Listen, pray and always offer hope.  It’s ok to lean on others, make the time to reach out to others and just offer a smile everywhere you go.

Oops!  I forgot to share the incredible joy that has come into our life!  We are first time grandparents!!!!!  I know all new grandparents say this, but our granddaughter IS the most beautiful angel we’ve ever seen!  All those tears and parenting struggles, especially the tough stuff, at least for the time being, seems to have faded away when we look into those new beautiful blue eyes.  I don’t wish those tough parental struggles on anyone, now especially on my own children as they start their own families.  I do hope that they never feel alone, reach out for support and have faith that God is walking along side them every step of the way.

When looking for comfort, many of us reach for food.  I’m not trying to push the food thing as a solution, but sometimes a nice bowl of soup does the trick.  Fall is right around the corner, but it’s still quite warm here so I’m not all in the soup mood yet.  But we are getting run over with zucchini right now and I had to come up with a solution.  I made this soup the other night for dinner and it was a big hit.  I hope you enjoy it!

Don’t forget to offer hope and Help Us Be Nice, Amen!

Summer Fresh Corn and Zucchini Chowder
1 Tb butter
4 strips of bacon, chopped
1 cup onion, chopped
2 celery ribs, chopped
1 carrot, peeled and chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 tsp dried thyme
2 medium potatoes, diced
4 cups of veggie stock
1 bay leaf
3 cups of corn (fresh or frozen)
1 zucchini diced
1 cup half and half
salt and pepper
pinch of red pepper

In a large stockpot, melt butter.  Add bacon and cook until it begins to brown.  Add onion, celery, carrots, garlic and thyme.  Cook until veggies begin to soften, stirring a couple of times.  Add potatoes, veggie stock and bay leaf.  Bring to a simmer and continue to cook for about 8 minutes.  Add zucchini and corn.  Season with salt and pepper.  Simmer for an additional 10 minutes, or until veggies are tender.  Remove bay leaf.  Use an immersion blender or potato masher and blend soup for just a bit, leaving most veggies not blended.  Add half and half and red pepper.  Cook until just heated through.